


Casino Thunderball

by Fabrisse



Category: Glee
Genre: Dalton Academy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-17
Updated: 2012-07-17
Packaged: 2017-11-10 03:33:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/461760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fabrisse/pseuds/Fabrisse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Artie enlists the Glee Club to help him make a James <strike>Bond</strike> Blaine film.</p><p>Takes place post-Goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Casino Thunderball

**Author's Note:**

> **Link to Art:** [The picture this story is based on is at yo_mawari's tumblr](http://yomawari.tumblr.com/post/26880505994/my-last-art-piece-done-for-the-kurt-blaine-reverse)
> 
>  
> 
> This was written for the Kurt Blaine Reverse Bang. The people who ran it were amazing. Please go explore all the stories and the original art they were based on here: http://kbl-reversebang.livejournal.com/

The silence had lasted several minutes. Blaine was driving, and he didn't know how to start. 

"I'm sorry," Kurt said.

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to."

"Artie?"

"And Brittany. And, really, everyone else who was there."

The silence descended again.

Kurt said, "It felt patronizing."

Blaine shook his head to keep from saying something he'd regret. Once again, there were several miles of silence.

Finally, Blaine said, "I worried I might lose you if you went to New York. It never occurred to me I could lose you if you stayed."

There was a gasp from the passenger seat, and Blaine turned to see tears streaming down Kurt's face. He put his hand on Kurt's knee and gave a reassuring squeeze.

"Please pull over. I want to see you."

"Sure, sweetheart." Blaine was happy to see Kurt smile at the term of endearment.

There was a rest stop about a mile up the road. Blaine pulled in, and they both got out and sat on the hood, holding hands.

"I'm sorry."

Blaine said, "You've said that."

"I've written Rachel ten emails in the last three weeks. Not one answer. I just feel like I've lost my best friend -- well, girl friend. Mercedes is going, too, and we hadn't been that close in awhile, but I'm the failure out of all of us and I don't know what to do."

"You told me you saw our future, sitting next to each other in the nursing home never having been apart. Do you see us married?"

Kurt nodded. "Not right away, but, yes."

"So you expect us to be together 'for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer' for the next fifty years or more, but you can't let me share this worse, this hurt right now? Because, Kurt, I'm hurting for you. And I want to hurt _with_ you, so we can find our next step together."

"I want to be worthy of you. I mean, I want to get out of Lima. I've wanted that since the first time I saw the Empire State Building on the intro to the Macy's Parade. But even if part of me is happy that I'll have this year with you, I don't know what to do. My first thought is re-audition to NYADA, but I don't know if it's the best place for me. I don't know if New York is really your dream, too, or if you were just going along, and I'll be a year older than everyone else when I get there. How does that affect my chances?"

"I'll tell you something. I don't plan to audition for NYADA. If you'd gotten in, I might've, but I can think of several better places for me and, honestly, I think some of them might be better for you, too. Like Julliard. It has an acting program. It's not musical theater, but I can't see you being limited to one form."

Kurt sighed. "There's part of me that's thought about applying to Tisch or the Fashion Institute. And, I have to admit, there's an even bigger part that's thought about Quinn at Yale and wondered whether what I really want is a four-year college with a good theater program. Preferably in or near a big city -- and, yeah, I still want it to be New York, but being near you is more important."

"I'm applying early admission to Julliard for piano. I don't know if I'll get in, but I have a whole group of schools that I'm going to apply to if I don't make it -- including Yale, because my dad would be thrilled if I made it into an Ivy League school -- even if I am still gay."

"I'm not sure I could make it into Yale."

"Your name was right next to Quinn's on the Honor Role, and I know you did well at Dalton."

"I…" Kurt pulled out his phone and dialed. "Hi Artie, you're on speaker phone. Blaine's here. 

"Hey, Kurt." Artie's voice sounded a little distant and neither of them was sure whether it was from the speaker phone.

Kurt continued. "I'm really sorry about being so … dismissive tonight. If the offer is still open, I'd be honored to participate in your film. And I'll do my best to bring Santana around, too. I know I gave her the opening to say 'no.' I have a couple of questions, though."

"Ask away." Artie definitely sounded better now.

"The first is, can you wait a little bit to start filming? I promised Finn I'd go with him to Fort Benning and see him off."

Artie said, "Not a problem. It'll take me at least three more weeks to figure out where we can film a lot of the scenes."

"Great. Do you need help with the costuming?"

"I'd love it. I mean, there's no budget or anything, so we'll be working with what's in people's closets, but I know you'd pull it together better than most people." Artie sounded really enthusiastic.

"Last question: You know you can't actually use the name 'James Bond,' right? I think it should be James Blaine and that Blaine should play that role. I want to play the… what did you call him earlier tonight? The _homme fatale_ that converts Bond to our team. That is, if you think it would be believable."

Artie asked, "Why don't you want the lead?"

"I heard you and Coach Bieste say that I wouldn't be believable as Tony. That I wouldn't be masculine enough. If you want someone to be believably bedding lots of women at the beginning, well, you should have seen all the phone numbers that Blaine got when the Warblers sang for Crawford Country Day School. And I hope we'd have enough chemistry that his scenes with me as the guy who seduces him and then converts to the good guys would work."

There was a long pause. "I didn't know you'd heard that. Was that why you came and did that _Romeo and Juliet_ scene?"

"Yeah. Blaine was the right choice for Tony, and I think he'll be the right lead for your movie."

Artie said, "I asked him. He suggested you."

Kurt looked at Blaine who nodded and said, "I thought it might get you going again. I've been worried." Kurt patted his hand.

"Your instincts were right. Does that mean the _fatale_ role…"

"It was written with you in mind. Since you forgot your copy, are you coming back to pick it up?"

"Um. I actually really need to have some time with Blaine. Could you send it in an email?"

"It'll be in your inbox before you get home. I'm glad you're working on this."

"Thanks, Artie. I'm really sorry about earlier. And, if I can't talk Santana around, have you thought of asking Quinn?"

Artie said, "You know, that's a really good idea. I'll call you and Blaine next week with more details on the filming schedule."

Blaine said, "Goodbye, Artie."

Kurt echoed him and hung up. "So. You suggested that I play a gay James Bond?"

Blaine said, "I think you'd be a great Jason Bourne, too. You're so flexible, but you're so much tougher than you let on."

Kurt nodded. "Thank you. I … I really want to go home and make love right now, but … are we all right?" 

"Will you talk to me, baby? Not keep shutting me out?"

Kurt swallowed. "It's easier to share the good times. I always wanted to protect my dad from the worst, too. I'll do my best, but, please, if … if something like this happens again, talk to me sooner. I hate that I hurt you. I hate that I was rude to Artie."

Blaine leaned over and kissed him. "I know you are. You're inherently kind, and I love you for it." Another kiss, a little deeper, and Blaine moaned. "Before we go home, I have a question for you."

"Yes, you can have your way with me." Kurt nuzzled his neck.

"Oh, no, I have other demands for that." He pushed Kurt back. "Do you remember Mister Caldwell?"

It took Kurt a minute to place the name. "The academic advisor at Dalton?"

"Yes. He helps students find the best schools for their skills and ambitions. He sees students privately in the summer. It's not cheap, but I thought maybe we could both work with him for our applications."

"Dad was looking into something similar in Washington, DC. He figured it would be a good preliminary use for my college fund. I'll talk to him about Mister Caldwell."

"Let's get back in the car before I ask you to prep me right here."

"We could get in the back seat. I could finger you and suck you until you come and when we get home…"

"I could ride you into next week." Blaine had gone breathless just talking about it. He climbed off the hood and knelt in front of Kurt. 

"I thought I was getting you off?"

"First you, then me, then we go home and really make love."

Kurt bent down and kissed him. "You have the best ideas."

***   
Kurt read the script the next day, and for the next two weeks, in between working at the garage, seeing Blaine, and making time to be with Finn before he left, Kurt and Artie worked to get the script as taut as possible, often at Artie's house.

"There's a party tonight at Artie's house. We're going to have a full reading of the script and get our schedules. He said you should bring any costume notes you had. And do you have any idea where we can set up a casino?"

"Didn't Ellet have a casino night every October to raise money for the bookmobile? You're still popular at Dalton."

Blaine laughed and started the car. "Of course, they did. I'll call Thad and see if he or Trent is still in Ellet. Mister Caldwell might be able to help us use the Senior commons to set up."

"And if Artie needs extras for the scene, I'll bet there would be several students from Dalton and Crawford Country Day who have the right kind of wardrobe."

Blaine grinned. "My boyfriend's a genius."

*** 

When they got to Artie's house, everyone else involved had already arrived. Santana greeted them at the door with "I don't know how you talked me into this."

Kurt said, "I promised you'd be the Head Bitch in Charge and you'd get to wear red."

"Oh, yeah. Actually, Brittany is the one who talked me back into it."

Kurt patted her arm as he walked past her. "I'm going to miss you, too."

The first reading left Artie and Kurt with more script notes, and it was agreed that filming would start on the following Monday. Artie put any scene Kurt and Blaine shared on Wednesday or Thursday which were their full days off, and scheduled any scenes apart around their shifts at Hummel's Tire and Lube.

Lauren Zizes was working the camera for the production, and Tina wasn't just playing Penny Moneywise, the secretary with a crush on "Blaine, James Blaine," but working as the continuity assistant.

They were going to make a movie.

*** 

Blaine was sitting on the sofa reading one of the books on his summer reading list while Kurt and Artie rearranged the order of the scenes and finished their revisions. For some reason the casino needed to come before the swimming pool scene now, and Blaine just shook his head and went back to _Their Eyes Were Watching God._

Over by the computer, Kurt smiled as he re-read the scenes. The flow was definitely better, now. They had agreed to throw in a classic opening with another agent dying in order to motivate their protagonist and because Finn wanted to participate before he left for Fort Benning.

"Artie, why are you doing this? I mean, you helped me with the Vogue video which was terrific, but … you also got a little subversive, pro-gay even, with the Christmas special."

"Straight, but not narrow," Artie said. "I look at you and Blaine, and it's really beautiful. I see it when I look at Mike and Tina, too. That one I kick myself over, maybe I could have had that kind of relationship if I hadn't been more interested in video games. Or maybe not. They just seem meant to be, like you and Blaine do. How can I be against love?"

Kurt said, "Thank you. You never bullied me, and I guess I should have seen you better as a real straight ally."

"Look, we were both bullied because people thought we could be. You never went after me, either. As for a straight ally, I'm just not blind." He chuckled to himself. "Back before Santana came out and I lost Brittany, Sam said that he hoped we could be as close as our girlfriends were."

Kurt giggled. "Oh, dear, I always thought I was above the musical chairs relationships in the glee club, but I just realized we have an ex in common."

Blaine closed his book and sat up. "I thought nothing ever happened between you and Sam."

Artie said, "Nothing ever happened between _me_ and Sam."

Kurt said, "Brittany. I told you I'd had some kissing that didn't count? Brittany. We dated for all of three days when I was trying to be what I thought my Dad wanted me to be."

"You're lucky you didn't have my dad," Blaine said. "You'd be engaged to her by now."

"Remind me to thank my father again tonight when I get home."

Artie changed the subject, "So Blaine, were you able to get us use of Dalton for the casino scenes?"

"Yes. It'll have to be during the week since Dalton has weddings booked every weekend through the summer, but The Warblers paid the rental fee for the space, and Mister Caldwell and the Headmaster agreed to chaperone. There's going to be a dance after the filming so we'll have a good number of extras to work with. The Warblers want to sing one song, and the Dalton Chamber Players has agreed to do the background music as long as they can play the Bond theme at some point."

Kurt asked, "And Sebastian?"

"Has left Dalton. Rumor has it that his family put him into military school."

"I can't say I'm sorry he's gone, but ouch," said Kurt.

Artie said, "Wait a minute, there's a fee to use Dalton and The Warblers paid it?"

"Yeah, they really like the idea of the movie. I think they still feel bad about the slushie, too. Anyway, did we have a couple of thousand dollars in the budget?"

Artie stared at him, "I don't think we have a couple of thousand pennies in the budget."

"I figured if New Directions offered to sing for the dance, like we did for prom, it would be even."

Kurt said, "How much of Dalton do we get to use?" 

"Front and back gardens, the frescoed corridor, Senior Commons, Junior Commons, and the auditorium. We could do the pool scenes at my house."

Artie finally said, "I'm sure we can sing at the dance. How many extras will we have?"

"Fifteen Warblers, six in the Chamber Orchestra, another twenty or so random students from the senior class and their girlfriends, say eighty people?"

Artie rolled over and high fived him. "My man."  
*** 

Two days before Finn was due to leave for Fort Benning, he filmed the opening sequence of Artie’s movie -- which still didn’t have a title. Finn played Illya Waverly, the agent who was shot while trying to get the information back to headquarters. His “British” accent was terrible, but his scene cemented the film as a labor of love for the glee club as well as Artie.

Afterward, everyone from New Directions came over to a barbecue at the Hummel residence to wish him goodbye. 

 

***   
Blaine was waiting at the bus station for Kurt when he got back from Fort Benning. 

Kurt hugged him as soon as they got into the car and said, "As he went through the gates, someone said something to Finn about 'the pansy' he was talking to, and Finn went icy and said, 'that's my brother.'"

"You guys have a really great relationship."

"I can't believe I used to have a crush on him. It seems icky now, but I really do love him as a brother."

Blaine smiled. "What's the policy on email at boot camp?" 

"None for the first thirty days."

"Well then, I guess I need to distract you for awhile."

Kurt said, "What did you have in mind?"

***   
“I thought I was the costumer,” Kurt said, eyeing the tiny piece of fabric in his hand. “I have a half dozen possible swimsuits to wear, and none of them is this one.”

Artie nodded sympathetically. “You’re trying to seduce double-o Blaine. You’re going to use every masculine wile you have.”

“Well, one of my wiles is good taste. This... banana hammock? … is an affront to civilization.”

Puck said, “Hey, I picked it out.”

Kurt shook his head. “Are you sure you’re straight?”

Artie held up his hands, “It’s just a swimsuit. Everything will be covered.”

Santana giggled, “Don’t be so sure. Have you really checked him out in those tight jeans? I think he’ll be busting out all over -- especially when he’s looking at a shirtless boyfriend.”

“That’s very thoughtful and completely appalling of you, Santana.”

Blaine put an arm around Kurt. “Is it really that bad?”

Kurt said, “Frankly, I think the only person here, besides me, who should know whether or not I’m circumcised is you.”

Puck and Santana laughed as Blaine blushed.

Artie sighed. “All right, let me see what other swimsuits you brought.”

After about twenty minutes of debate, Artie agreed to a suit Kurt had bought specifically for the film. It was aquamarine with navy trim, and it conformed more tightly to Kurt’s body than he was strictly comfortable with. Since it still covered far more than the six square inches of clingy fabric Puck had suggested, Kurt figured he could live with the dip in the front which showed his navel, and the way the suit accentuated everything he didn't want to show.

Blaine was wearing a Union Jack swimsuit in a similar cut and when Kurt came out of the house, he tapped Santana on the shoulder. "Can you go in and make me an ice pack?"

"It's your house, gay prep."

"Yeah, but I need to be here for the scene, and I really don't think Artie wants to be accused of purveying porn."

Her face softened, "Hummel really does it for you."

His eyes never left Kurt's body, "He does. In more ways than you can imagine."

Santana glanced over at Brittany. "You might be surprised at what I can imagine." She smirked at him. "I'll make up a couple in case you melt the first one on contact."

Blaine swallowed hard. "Just hurry."

***   
When the day came to film at Dalton, Artie went up to Mister Caldwell and asked if they could use his office and the Dalton gym to film scenes. After a brief consultation with the headmaster, Mister Caldwell got anything off the desk and shelves that could identify him, and stood back to watch them film.

Blaine knew Kurt couldn't be there until later in the day, so he enjoyed playing his scenes with Mercedes as M and Mike as Q. Mike clearly loved the character he was playing, and Mercedes played M as a regal bitch diva. Blaine wondered for a minute whether she should have played Eva Villainesse instead of Santana.

After his scenes, Artie was filming a couple of things with Santana, Puck, and Brittany and he asked Blaine to help everyone set up the casino before he had to put on his evening clothes.

"Wes! What are you doing here?" 

Wes waved at him and rushed over to shake his hand. "When David told me you were making a movie here, he mentioned a dance in front of Miranda…"

"Who insisted that you take her," Blaine finished.

Wes shrugged. "She loves to dance, and I love her. Besides, I haven't gotten to write a single acapella arrangement while I've been at Johns Hopkins."

"Liar. I bet you've done dozens just to relax."

"Maybe," Wes said, "But it's not as much fun with no one to sing them."

"So what did The Warblers decide on?"

"We've prepared two Bond songs -- _You Only Live Twice_ and _For Your Eyes Only_ , but I also put one together for _Light My Fire_."

"As in The Doors?"

Wes said, "Yeah, and as in you and Kurt are incendiary. I figured we'd see what Artie wants to use."

Blaine grinned, "I actually have an inside lead on that." 

When he told Wes what Artie and Kurt had come up with, Wes grinned, too.

***   
The girls of Crawford Country Day who were extras had been told they weren't allowed to wear pink or red, so when Santana entered the room in her dark red dress, she stood out beautifully from the paneled wood and the other women in the crowd. It helped that Brittany and Kurt flanked her in a pale yellow evening dress and a summer white dinner jacket respectively.

Blaine had fun saying his lines, trying to seduce first Santana and then Brittany. But what really fascinated him was listening to Artie set up the scenes with the cast. He was clear about ambient noise levels, and Blaine found it hilarious that there were times when the people around him were miming entire conversations just so his discussion with Santana could be captured by the microphone.

There were several takes from various angles, and then the combined McKinley Jazz Band and Dalton Chamber Sextet took up a tango. Mike had choreographed it carefully for Blaine, Santana, Brittany, and Kurt. He'd asked if any of the Dalton/Crawford couples knew how to tango, and prepared several of them as background dancers. 

They rehearsed the whole sequence twice before filming, but Blaine could feel his palms sweating a little in fear that he'd trip and spoil the shot. He started with Santana, moving her confidently across the floor as she looked at him with disdain. Kurt started across the floor with Brittany, and there were a few dueling couples moments, before they switched partners and he was moving across the floor with Brittany telling "James" to keep away from "Eva" because "Eva" was her woman. There was a quick dip and then they moved back to the center and the partners changed again, and this time he was holding Kurt who said, "Maybe I should lead?" in a sultry voice as they completed the exchange. Blaine nodded and moved his hands to the correct placement as Kurt pressed their bodies close below the waist and flicked their legs together in the rhythm of the dance.

When Artie called cut there was a round of applause before the room filled with chatter. 

Kurt giggled and said, "Did you hear Lauren? She said we were hot."

Blaine nuzzled his neck and said, "You have no idea what you do to me." He could feel Kurt blush.

"Later, Romeo," Kurt said.

The next scene was one of the keys to James Blaine turning from heterosexual philanderer to a one-man man. 

Joe had played the CIA agent who explained the set-up to Blaine, and Sam was playing the croupier who was an American agent. He'd help Blaine win the poker game which was supposed to intrigue Kurt and then be disposed of by Puck who was playing Santana's assassin. 

Artie had to call cut after Sam's first line. "No. You may not use your Sean Connery impression," he said.

Kurt's shoulders were shaking with a fit of the giggles, and Blaine had a hard time keeping a straight face.

After the fourth time Artie called cut for the same reason, Kurt said, "Let him use it, Artie. This is a parody. Imagine a world where Connery was an extra instead of playing the secret agent."

Sam brightened. "Yeah, it's like an alternate reality."

Blaine clapped Artie on the shoulder, "You put Han Solo in a remake of the Judy Garland special. Call it an homage."

They made it through the whole scene on the fifth take.

***   
Artie and Lauren did not let anyone else see the dailies. Not only that, no one else was allowed to help with the editing. After two weeks with no word from either of them, a tweet went out from Lauren saying, "It's alive!" Ten minutes later Artie texted Kurt asking if they could have a viewing party at his house. Half an hour after that, he texted back, "yes."

***  
Burt fired up the grill in the back yard, a little relieved that none of the people who were coming were vegans, although Kurt had marinated some mushrooms and vegetables just in case someone didn't want hamburgers or chicken sausage.

They'd also set up the big game day TV to watch this movie thing they'd been making. Burt was relieved that something had captured his son's imagination after the rejection from NYADA, and he'd nearly hugged Blaine when he'd asked about his old guidance counselor helping Kurt select schools for next year. 

The first guests arrived bringing sodas and desserts, and Kurt was being a good host. Other people came with side dishes, and soon Burt was busy at the grill. He noticed that quite a group of Blaine's friends had come. They were easy to pick out in plaid shorts and pastel polo shirts

Once everyone had eaten, Kurt said, "I'm making popcorn. _Casino Thunderball_ starts in ten minutes."

Burt discovered that he and Carole had been saved good seats and sat down to watch the finished product with the kids. It was easy to tell which ones were couples. Kurt was sitting on the floor resting his back on Blaine's shins, Santana and Brittany were sharing one of the armchairs, Mercedes and Sam were holding hands, and Tina was perched on the arm rest next to Mike.

Carole squeezed his arm during the first scene with Finn, and Burt could tell she was blinking back tears. 

The opening credits used the theme from the 1960s _Casino Royale_ played by the McKinley High Jazz Band, over the traditional view of Bond through the barrel of a gun. (Artie said, "Lauren made me a special lens shade to get that shot to work.")

There were comments from the audience through the first several scenes, including the ones of Blaine with Quinn and Sugar, separately, as passing conquests, and Tina flirting and sighing over Blaine as he went into M's office.

No one could make heads or tails of how Santana's plot to take over the world would have worked, but she sold the intensity of it and Kurt's presence in the background was coolly aloof.

(When Trent said, "But none of that made sense," Artie came back with, "I watched every single Bond film in a two week period. The only one whose villain had an idea that sort of made sense was _Tomorrow Never Dies._ " To which Kurt said, "You just have a crush on Michelle Yeoh." "I totally preferred the _Lois and Clark_ chick," Puck said.)

The James Bond Theme played by a string octet heralded the start of the casino scenes. They'd ended up having to spend an extra day at Dalton to get all the scenes to match-up. Mister Caldwell and the Headmaster had enjoyed the filming enough that they waived the rental fee for the second day. 

People started pointing out when they were in the background in the crowded scenes. 

Kurt said, "Artie, why did you put the poker scene before the tango?"

Lauren said, "I thought it made your changing partners in the dance look like a rescue. We cut it both ways, but Artie agreed with me."

Artie shrugged. "What she said. It was a little tweak, but it really improved the dynamic."

Santana said, "Rewind it to the beginning. I want to see my entrance again without everyone talking over it."

"Yes, my villain." He backed up to the beginning of the scene.

This time they made it all the way through the tango before Carole said, "Well that was something. I didn't realize how well you kids could dance."

Kurt said, "Well, Finn…"

Blaine interrupted with, "It's all because Mike Chang -- who will be going to the Joffrey School and work with Joffrey II -- choreographed to our strengths."

Mike mimed winning a trophy until Tina pulled him back and kissed him. 

The catcalls and whistles started up again when on-screen Blaine laid down on a deck chair and took off his robe. 

"How many ice packs did we go through in this scene, Blaine," Santana asked.

"Six. One for each take," Blaine answered.

"And one for my favorite unicorn," Brittany added.

Burt saw how fiercely his son was blushing. 

Kurt put his hands over his eyes and said, "I can't watch." 

Burt turned his face back to the screen just in time to see Kurt push himself out of the water and stand dripping by the edge of the pool. He turned to Carole and whispered, "Is this what women mean by being turned into a sex object?"

Carole giggled, "Exactly. Whew."

There was a scene of Blaine sliding his sunglasses down his nose to get a better look and a cut back to Kurt drying himself, looking golden in the late afternoon sun. 

"I feel like I shouldn't be seeing this. That's my son," Burt said.

Artie leaned over. "In that case cover your eyes now, before the love scene."

Burt did a double take, and said, "Thanks for the warning, but I can manage."

Blaine called out, "Who has the remote? Roll it back and freeze-frame on Kurt, please."

Kurt groaned, "No, no, no."

"Yes, yes, yes." Blaine peeled Kurt's hands off his eyes. "You. Are. Beautiful."

Kurt bit his lip and blushed. He whispered, "You're so handsome."

Blaine kissed him gently.

"Handsome or not, his old man is sitting right here," Burt teased.

Carole said, "That better not make me your 'old woman.'"

Burt said, "Of course not, honey." He kissed her quickly, surprised when it got an "aw" from the assembled kids. 

Artie hit play again. 

The few lines of dialogue played out on screen and then Blaine was pushing Kurt onto his back and lying between his legs kissing him deeply as The Warblers' version of _For Your Eyes Only_ started to play in the background. 

"So hot," said Lauren.

David turned to Wes and said, "I told you we did the right thing getting them together."

Wes said, "Indubitably," and shook his hand.

Burt turned to Artie, "How many takes?"

"Six for Kurt coming out of the pool and Blaine leering at him. Only one for this scene."

Santana called out, "Of course, we had to dump a bucket of ice water over them when Artie called cut."

Kurt sniffed. "I should never have promised you Head Bitch in Charge."

Quinn said, "Even when I was HBIC, Santana was, too."

They all settled back to watch the rest of the movie. Kurt's character rescued Blaine's and saved the world. Eva Villainesse and her henchwoman were captured and her assassin was killed -- and Puck's death scene caused a lot of laughter -- before Blaine and Kurt were seen drifting together on a pool float, kissing.

There was a cheer and applause before Kurt grabbed the remote from Artie and hit pause.

He said, "All right, someone help me set up the sundae bar before we watch the music videos."

"Music videos?" Carole asked.

Mercedes said, "Mrs. Hummel, as much as I loved getting my British on, the music videos were the best part. Blaine found this P!nk song, except it was sung by Shirley Bassey, and then we did a mash-up with the Warblers."

"Plus, I wanted to sing, so New Directions also did a version of _Live and Let Die_ ," Artie said.

"And Artie was kind enough to let The Warblers film one for _You Only Live Twice_ , since I'd already written the arrangement," Wes added.

Burt said, "Well, I can't wait to see them." 

Kurt said, "There's that raspberry sherbet you like, Dad."

Burt smiled at him. "I knew ice cream was too good to be true. May I have hot fudge?"

Kurt patted his hand, "Even a little whipped cream."

They all gathered again in front of the television to watch the videos. Burt thought The Warblers song was a little boring, but Artie and Santana killed it on _Live and Let Die_ , though the real surprise in that song was Kurt keeping up with Blaine and Mike on the dancing. 

Kurt took dishes back to the kitchen quietly and whispered in Burt's ear, "Mike had to dumb it down a bit for me, but not as much as he thought he might have to."

"You look real good."

"Thanks, Dad."

Finally Mercedes came on the screen dressed like a diva with a feather boa draped around her shoulders. She sang, "Get this party started on a Saturday night," dramatically and the New Directions girls swirled around her in finery that Burt was positive Kurt had picked out.

The beat of the music picked up, and Blaine strode forward singing, "I'm coming out, so you better get this party started." Everyone clapped enthusiastically, and then the beat changed again. 

Kurt came in leading the Warblers -- all of them in dinner jackets and black tie -- singing Sting's _We'll Be Together Tonight_.

At the end of the mash-up, Carole laughed, "That was fantastic. The whole movie was obviously a labor of love."

"How much for copies?" Blaine asked.

Artie said, "I could probably do them for about five dollars, but, well, this is too long for me to use as my audition to NYU or USC. So, if everyone could afford ten, then I should have a little to make my application reel?"

Burt got out his wallet and handed him a fifty. "I want four copies, because we have to send one to Finn and I'm covering Sam's and Kurt's. Don't worry about change."

Artie said, "Thanks, Mister Hummel."

Wes pulled out a twenty. "One for me and one for Miranda."

Kurt and Blaine got up and started putting away the leftover ice cream while Artie was taking orders.

Blaine said, "You looked wonderful out there."

Kurt kissed him. "So did you."

"I have my first appointment with Mister Caldwell next week."

Kurt said, "I know. It's right after mine. We could drive down together to save gas."

"Let me take you out to dinner afterward. Talk about our assignments. Talk about our future."

"Talk about how much I love you." Kurt kissed him again, pressing Blaine back against the counter. He gasped when Blaine started to nuzzle down his neck and then settled in between Blaine's legs. 

"Get it," Puck said from the doorway.

Kurt rolled his eyes and pushed away from Blaine. "And thank you for killing the mood."

"Yeah, well, could have been worse. Your dad sent me to get you. Artie wanted to talk to you before he left."

Blaine gave him a squeeze and let him go. "We'll pick this up again later?"

Kurt's eyes flashed dark for a moment. "Oh, yes."

***   
Artie seemed a little dazed by all the orders. "You know, I didn't really think everyone would want one."

Kurt grinned. "You underestimated the performers' egos. What did you want to talk about?"

"I have an idea for my application film. It can only be about twelve minutes total, and that's pushing it. I'm aiming for ten, but… Look, you were much better at figuring out what was essential to the script than I was. Would you work with me on getting the script together? There won't be too many roles, but I might want you to play one of them."

"That's really sweet, Artie. Sure. I liked working on the script with you."

Artie said, "Good. You know, if you wanted to write your own script, your own idea, I'd be willing to tell you what was workable for an actual movie. If you wanted, I mean."

Kurt said, "I'd like that. Maybe that's my talent."

Artie touched his arm, "You have a lot of talents. Don't neglect the others, too."

"I won't. You, too. Don't give up singing."

"Not a chance." He rolled to the front door, and Kurt opened it. "So, I'll text you a time for next week."

Burt came out and made certain Artie made it out okay. 

"Kurt, I'm sorry that NYADA school wasn't smart enough to see how good you are, but I'm glad I get to have more time with you."

"Same here, Dad." He hugged Burt for a second, then they went back to their guests.

**Author's Note:**

> These are the songs used in the story.  
> [Shirley Bassey version of "Get this Party Started"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqNcyFNMfLM)
> 
> [Sting doing "We'll Be Together Tonight"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYps5LfOaGg)
> 
> [Opening Credits to _For Your Eyes Only_ sung by Sheena Easton](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGrptJTswNg&feature=related)
> 
> [Paul McCartney and Wings performing _Live and Let Die_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JK2hKzZss5Y)
> 
> [ Opening credits to ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcIl_6amBvU)_You Only Live Twice_ sung by Nancy Sinatra


End file.
